Why We Watch, Exhibit S.2

Facebuster Nation: A few months ago, I waxed nostalgic about an elusive and spectacular bordering on mythical YouToo clip featuring The Four Horsemen (the Flair, Windham, Arn, and Tully version) stomping the shit out of "The Total Package" Lex Luger as part of our celebration of The Horsemen stable, franchise, legacy and lasting contributions to the noble art of professional wrestling. Allow me to quote myself:

For quite some time now, I've been planning to honor The Four Horsemen circa 1986-1988 (not the later day versions that featured such stains as Sid Vicious, Paul Roma, Jeff Jarrett, and Steve "Mongo" McMichael whose perplexing and often expedient inclusion ultimately tarnished the luster and legacy of the group) for (a) delivering both in the ring and on the stick; (b) being among the first "cool heels" where you'd feel compelled to cheer the bad guys and root against the good guys; and (c) their ruthless and violent gang style beatdowns of seemingly all of babyfaces and jobbers that had a cup of coffee with Jim Crockett Promotions during this period.

The clip I was hoping to embedded in order to illustrate these contentions, point 3 in particular, was footage from a Clash of the Champions in June, 1988 where Flair, Blanchard, Double A, JJ Dillon, and newly turned heel and anointed Horsemen Barry Windham put the boots to Lex Luger in a sadistic arena parking lot attack just moments after "The Total Package" disembarked from his Lincoln Continental limousine, causing severe lacerations to the TP's horse face and leaving footprints all over his fucking white tuxedo! After inflicting this carnage, the Horsemen dumped Luger's body into the trunk of the very limo he arrived in. Now that's how you do irony.

Simply put, for me, this is among the top three satisfying and gratifying rasslin' moments of all time.

Unfortunately, this viral video is no longer available. After much futile scouring, I have come to the conclusion that the Poindexters at World Wrestling Entertainment forced Youtube to put a cease and desist on the original clip poster's account as he/she had run afoul of WWE copyright and thus Youtube's terms of use agreement.

Phrased differently, the WWE has yet again hosed rasslin' fans everywhere.

Rest assured, if this now infamous clip ever resurfaces on the interwebs, Arabian Facebuster will bring it to you...

Consider this footage brought! Go ahead and click play below. Oh, and don't be alarmed by 11 minute clip duration. All of the action in question occurs during the first 90 seconds.



Magnificent, isn't it!?

Oh, and feel free to see the clip through to its conclusion, for it also features a plethora of 1988 commercials for fancy Yugo motor cars and BVD underpants followed by The Fantastics in action against The Sheepherders (before they became the scintillating Bushwackers comedy duo in the WWF).

Yr Random Pro Rasslin' Sign of the Week

Sandy Barr's Flea Market. St. Johns. Portland.

10 Years Ago...

Bret Hart!? The diabolical Mr. McMahon?!? Hall, Nash, and X-Pac!?! Ric Flair?!? Jeff Hardy?!? Val Venis!?! Russo?!? Sigh, Hulk Hogan!?!

Oh wait, that's just a smattering of who's rumored to be appearing on tonight's WWE vs. TNA! Monday Night Wars redux...the bulk of whom via the latter promotion.

May God strike down The Impact Zone at Universal Studios, Orlando FL and all of those on or near its premises who are not named AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, Desmond Wolfe, or Samoa Joe before the top of the hour.

Friday Night Videos (Bonus Hungover Start to 2010 Edition)

Facebuster Nation: I hope you all followed the sage albeit long-winded advice of Barry "Dairy" Windham and had a safe, drinkin' and drivin' free New Year's holiday. I also assume you followed the directives of Charles Bukowski and "Hairy" Larry Nelson and drank yrselves into a state best characterized as occupying the space between impulsive and reckless decision making exuberance and blacked out oblivion.

And seeing as how many of you are just returning from an evening of hair of the doggin' it and fulfilling your New Year's Resolution by making out with a cabin fatty approximating a Brooke Hogan level of thickness in the men's room stall -- with her rolls of stomach fat and mammoth muffin top no doubt spilling out into the urinal area -- at the local tavern, I thought it appropriate to provide a *bonus* installment of Friday Night Videos, Arabian Facebuster's apportionment of actual non-sports entertainment contaminated professional rasslin' content to continue the industrious start to 2010.

Featured tonight is the conclusion of a Universal Wrestling Federation Tag Team Title Match circa 1986 between the team of "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert and Sting against Tommy Rogers and Bobby Fulton, The Fantastics. Jim Ross and possibly Hacksaw Jim Duggan (or is that the voice of the finest hoss in all of Oklahoma Dr. Death Steve Williams!?) commentate. The referee just so happens to be assigned this contest is Eddie Gilbert's father Tommy Gilbert, although I don't think it has any bearing on the outcome of this contest. And in the heel team's corner are Missy Hyatt and "Hollywood" John Tatum.

The behind the scenes back story here is just as compelling as the in-ring tag team action. In brief, Tatum and Hyatt arrived in the UWF via World Class Championship Wrestling (written with Bill Mercer's inflection running through my head). They were a couple both on screen and off. As part of the storyline, Gilbert and Tatum formed an alliance, eventually culminating in Hyatt dumping Tatum for Gilbert. In real life, events played out much the same as Missy "cheated" on John with Eddie, whom she eventually married a year or two later.



And just because the end of the clip promises you more Universal Wrestling Federation action, I'm going to deliver in the form of the conclusion of a six man tag featuring The Fantastics and The Missing Link with the sultry and very much sought after Dark Journey in their corner against Gilbert, Sting, and Tatum with Missy Hyatt in there's.



Oh, and that young lady in the crowd bopping to the Fantastics' music holding her overall clad son in one hand a Misty 120 in the other at the 3 minute mark epitomizes the fervent and vociferous ethos of professional rasslin' fandom -- provided that the booking and in-ring product isn't presented in an anodyne, static, apathy inducing, lowest common denominator appealing, intelligence insulting, and/or disproportionately whimsical, manner -- that for the last 3+ years Arabian Facebuster has so stridently championed, safeguarded, and vindicated.

I wonder if she's got a daughter!?

Enjoy. I'll be sure to resurrect this Friday Night Videos bit again before Arabian Facebuster closes up shop one year from now.

The Week in Unintentional Irony

Kid Kash Got Bu$$ted for Fraud with a Credit Card.

Dr. Death, Died.

Rocky Mountain Thunder: Looks Like Two Phone Booths (With Legs)

As we rapidly approach the end of 2009 -- the year of Rocky Peoples here at Arabian Facebuster -- it is once again time to pay homage to the two legged centaur with one gunny suck, zero wrestling acumen, and an incalculable predilection for scufflin' who ruled the proverbial Facebuster roost in 2008...and is poised to make a spectacular return to relevancy and the ongoing subject of our ridicule in 2010: The original bumbling and blundering "Rocky," Rocky Mountain Thunder.

Who was Rocky Mountain Thunder? Some say he was a misunderstood performance artist. Sort of a Andy Kaufman for the white trash survivalist set. Others claim he had his wallet stolen after a drug deal gone bad in Showboat Sports Pavilion bathroom and went to work wrestling for Verne Gagne's obsolete bordering on comatose AWA promotion in the Summer of '88 in order to procure bus fare back to Colorado. Judging by this clip of him sauntering around the ring while jobber Daryl Nickle bumps around like a maniac (or, in the warped perspective of Lee Marshall, gets thrown around the ring like a cabbage patch doll), he appears to be a talentless, easily winded lug with the most glaringly and alarmingly incompetent lack of pro wrestling fundamentals ever allowed to get inside, let alone within 20 feet, of a professional rasslin' ring, four or six sides notwithstanding.

Judge for yourself.

As customary, alternative post titles include: "Rocky Mountain Thunder: Awesome To Me In Size;" Daryl Nickle: Can't Move Rocky Mountain Thunder;" "Rocky Mountain Thunder: Has Made a Motion to the Crowd;" "Rocky Mountain Thunder: The Crowd Loves Him. And Well They Should;" and "Rocky Mountain Thunder: YIKES!"

Brooke Hogan: Still Built Ford Tough

ITEM: There is no need for the thick cut pork slab filled with vacuous and infantile thoughts and about one and one-half bills worth of silicon, Venti Latte's, Duncan Hines cake frosting, White Castle sliders, and Rey Mysterio Jr. look-alike spooge otherwise known as Brooke Hogan to join the upcoming cast of VH1's Celebrity Fit Club.

First off, her caliber of celebrity is far too low grade for that show, what with it's illustrious history of helping Hollywood's best and brightest -- Tina Yothers, Dustin Diamond, the Snapple Lady, Charles In Charge's Willie Ames, the lead singer of Warrant (Jani/Jamie Lane?), 1/2 of the gay brother power ballad super group Nelson, Gunner Nelson, 227's resident filthy, filthy whore Jackee, Josie from the smash hit Josie Love's Chachi, and presumably at one point some former cast member or members of the socially and politically conscious oblivious sit-com What's Happening (probably Shirley or Rerun or Dwayne or that fat woman who played the mom, or that petulant lil' cream puff Dee...pretty much anybody but the wafer thin Raj) -- shed the extra pounds and get their promising careers back on track.

Secondly, she's decided to go into the fat burning business herself...by hawking something called Paraslim Natural Weight Loss.

With Brooke being so eager to lend her name and therefore her reputation to this ground breaking new product, one could only assume it delivers the intended slimming, sexy results. *Scours interwebs for recent, preferably bikini-clad, photo of the blond ex-Sasquatch with hip-pop musical sensibilities in question.*

Yikes! Time for Brooke to try Plan B: The Cocaine Diet.

Yr Old Skool Misc Jim Cornette Foto of the Week

Jim Cornette presents the Bobby Eaton/Stan Lane version of The Midnight Express.

Friday Night Videos (X Mas Edition)

Merry Christmas from all of us at Arabian Facebuster.

And if you don't celebrate Christmas because of religious or secularist reasons, then happy garden variety Friday night. For unlike yr birth of Jesus celebrating, short-lived macroeconomic indicator stimulating, fa la la la la'ing brethren, you have no legitimate excuse not to get slobbering drunk, spend a good twenty minutes sexting with a cabin fatty or two, and give repeated viewings to this latest installment of Friday Night Videos featuring some grainy footage from The Midnight Rockers (and Rollers!?!?) short lived 1987 stint wrestling in the half-empty farm expo centers and war memorial auditoriums frequented by the Alabama based Continental Championship Wrestling promotion.

Shawn and Marty's opponents...international men of intrigue and former ASIAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!, The Terrorists. I think that's Terrorist #1 with the black body suit and red trunks. Wait, or is he in the red body suit and black trunks? Regardless, for a squash match in a slowly dying promotion (albeit one that enjoyed short lived resurgence in the Spring and Summer 1988 thanks to the innovative and often times controversially realistic booking and chicken shit heel in-ring contributions of Eddie Gilbert), this is some pretty solid action with The Terrorists bumping like crazy for those pretty boy whippersnappers who eventually prevail via a Rocker Plex.

FYI, the bleach blond, face painted hillbilly that appears in the box in the upper right hand corner is Danny Davis of The Nightmares tag team combination. Gordon Solie, (bottle o') scotch in hand no doubt, narrates the action.